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Stages of defiance are repeated in children and are completely normal. Nevertheless, parents regularly push to the limit of their possibilities. What are some tips for dealing with the stages of defiance?
resistance phase
Before we get into tips on how to deal with the defiance phases, let’s first look at what exactly a defiance phase is. Children’s stage of defiance it starts around 18 months and can last up to 6 years of age. But she has hers Culmination mostly in between 2nd and 3rd year of life of the child.
The beginning of the resistance phase is not random. Around the 18th month, children develop a Understanding that they are a separate and independent person and begin to perceive and behave as such. This means that children begin to understand that they have an influence on what is happening and that their actions can influence and change. Later they also develop plans and make decisions.
This new knowledge should then of course be used to have the opportunity to gain new experiences and break new ground. The rules set by parents, which can still be incomprehensible, prevent children from trying everything. Just like her lack of skills sometimes it prevents you from implementing something. What’s more, the setting Rules for children under 3 often incomprehensible they are because by about this time they can not feeling sorry for others. They see the other child crying as they are being bitten, but they cannot imagine or understand the child’s pain. When the child is 3 years old, he may understand the rules better, but following them remains an obstacle because the child is not yet able to manage himself and has few alternative procedures.
and tantrums or tantrums get hold of it usually sudden and violent out. No matter how small the trigger situation, the child flips the switch and the pent-up feelings are suddenly released. Exactly what triggers are is very individual. However, many things can be a trigger, even if it sometimes doesn’t seem logical to parents.
Before we jump straight to tips on how to deal with the defiance phases, it should be clear that the defiance phase is important role in the child’s development because they will learn a lot of new things here. Here’s how to build it perseverance and also one frustration tolerance on. In addition, they learn eperceive and control own feelings and needs. you will learn patienceyourself like this expressthat it advantageous is and also Rules in accordance with
But now for tips on how to deal with the stages of defiance.
How can I behave?
Although the stage of defiance is important for a child’s development, it often pushes parents to their limits. So here are some tips to deal with the resistance phases.
The first tip is also quite difficult and is stay calm and composed during a tantrum. Anyone who actively participates in an argument, and is louder, reinforces the child’s defiance. Even if the child is being abusive, it should not be taken personally because these statements are only out of anger and usually have nothing to do with what the child really thinks about their parents.
That’s why parents should try empathize with your child. How would you feel if the plan didn’t work because your skills weren’t good enough? Or because your parents made a rule that you may not even understand? Be there with empathy for the child and indicating that you understand how they feel is more helpful than yelling back and fueling the argument even more. It can also be useful here name together how the child feels at the moment and why. This puts children in touch with their own emotions and feelings, which can promote development.
Some children also find it helpful to act out in spite of such a defiance response taken in arms will. Physical proximity can help regulate faster. Other children would like to be in this situation do not touch under any circumstances, so it shouldn’t be forced. Some children are also able to calm down better and faster no longer an audience, that is, when the parents are no longer concerned with him, but with something else. However, such time-outs should not be overdone, otherwise the child may feel abandoned and become even more involved.
Once the tantrum subsides, you can Provide or show alternatives. This can be a compromise and the child can still try it. If the reason for the tantrum was the rule, it should also be after the acute phase Explain why this rule exists and why you as a parent followed it. Under no circumstances should any rule be broken during a tantrum because children need clear and reliable rules and boundaries.
This is also important forgiving to be after a tantrum. Once this is overcome and everything is clarified, the parents should immediately reconcile with the child. This gives the child confidence that it is okay to do something wrong. Moreover, children in the stage of defiance are usually not angry themselves.
It can help calm a big tantrum and avoid the stage where the child is inaccessible to words and explanations distract and suddenly change the subject. This can prevent the child from becoming angry and prevent a tantrum.
Conclusion
Tips for dealing with periods of defiance are general, because every child and every situation is individual. It requires sensitivity parents to respond correctly, even if they have tips in mind. It usually makes sense to look at it gut feeling hear, because parents usually know their children best and can therefore best judge what the reason for the tantrum is and what the child needs now. However, these tips can help and support you.
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