Allein schlafen bei Kindern

Separate sleeping in children: what to consider?

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The topic of sleeping alone in children is an emotional one as well as a controversial one. It involves troubled parents, different opinions and perspectives, and often a debate about what is right and what is wrong. what’s behind it? What are the opinions?

sleep training?

Especially babies and toddlers usually have trouble sleeping don’t oversleepbecause of still lack of day and night rhythm. Therefore, frequent awakenings in children are in the first years normal and in itself is not a cause for concern. However, it can be very exhausting and draining for parents. But in general, co-sleeping with a child can be too much for parents. Some parents then try to introduce sleeping alone to their children early, others later. Many parents get involved at the latest when the project is failing and their own despair is great different methodsalso called sleep training that promises success.

Common training advises put the child in his own bed in his own room. If the child is screaming and crying, parents should not react immediately and calm the child, but enter the room only at increasing intervals. It is also often recommended not to take the child out of bed so that he does not “get his way”. Such training indeed, after some time it shows success with many childrenbecause it is a species conditioning process acts. He learns that screaming and crying is useless and stops doing it. But how useful is this method?

Issue of bonds

Such methods to encourage sleep alone in children are powerful controversialand from a scientific point of view with regard to attachment theory and generally childish development. More information about this can be found in the post filial bond.

The screaming and crying of children, especially babies and small children, is why by no means a defiant reaction or likened to a power struggle. Babies and toddlers can’t think strategically yet. Rather, the screaming/crying is a attachment behavior activatedfrom the child safety and security required by the person requesting the attachment. So the child feels uncomfortable and needs a reference person. this will be evolutionary justified because the sleeping situation represents a particularly vulnerable and exposed situation for a young child, in which the attention of parents/caregivers signals the very safety and security that is needed for peaceful rest. This is evolutionarily quite reasonable The pattern is triggered in many toddlers at night/while sleeping, although there are certainly exceptions. Some children sleep alone from an early age without any training or aspiration to do so. However, most toddlers and babies struggle with these evolutionary fears/responses.

If you get away with it Crying and infant crying as an attachment response out, parents should perceive, interpret and respond directly and sensitively to the child. The child usually shows separation anxiety and cannot get it under control by himself. are common physical contact and parental Voice especially useful to give the baby the security it needs.

This knowledge can also be implemented if sleeping itself is to be implemented with children. Even if The child sleeps in his own roomparents should be like that signalslike screaming and crying perceive and act immediately. That So, from this point of view, it is not recommended to let someone scream, because the child could lose trust in the attachment figure, which in turn can affect attachment and thus development. Because even if the children stop their behavior and fall asleep after some time of training, it is mostly due to the fact that they no longer have the strength to scream/cry. This is exhausting for the child and is associated with many stress hormones. Although the activation of attachment behavior is untrained, does not mean that the stress reaction does not occur in children. These many stress hormones could in turn have a negative effect on the child’s development.

Therefore, from the point of view of this position, parents should sensitive respond to nocturnal signals, especially from infants and young children to further strengthen the bond aa effective regulation of stressful situations advance in the child. From this point of view, ignoring the signals leads to the success that the parents wanted, that the child no longer screams and cries, but at the expense of other aspects of the child’s development.

When is the right time for children to sleep alone?

From the point of view of attachment theory, whether the child sleeps in his own room, in the parents’ room or in the parents’ bed, you should not let him cry, but rather respond sensitively. But is it the right time to let your baby sleep in his own room?

Generally it is each child individually, as already indicated above, where it was about the fact that some children sleep well on their own at an early age. That’s why it exists no generally correct time for trying to let the child sleep in his own room. In general, recommendations apply Babies In each case at least in the parents’ room let them sleep, i.e. in their parents’ bed or in their own bed in their parents’ room. Parents can thus sleep better also because they have a shorter route to calm the child and, if necessary, feed him at night.

It’s entirely up to you when your own room comes into play individually be. It’s supposed, that Children will develop the need themselves over timesleep in your own room. That’s usually it around the age of 3 of the child. The topic of sleeping alone with children can therefore be approached calmly and without pressure. If parents wish to sleep in the children’s room earlier, these are again the aspects mentioned above, according to which parents should respond sensitively to children’s signals at night.


So there is a debate about sleep itself in children different points of view. Looking at the subject attachment theoryis this It is not recommended to let the baby crybut there will be one responsive and immediate response recommended by parents to support attachment and development. However, there are many proponents of sleep training that involves crying. It can be seen how children’s sleep and sleep develop over time individually be. Moreover, in addition to such extreme sleep training, there are also gentler methods that take into account children’s attachment needs. When in doubt, parents should familiarize themselves with the debate and differing opinions own way choose wisely.

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