In this article, we have collected anonymous experiences from students whose parents forced you to study. Parents often also determined the field of study. In this article, we also offer tips and tricks on how students can deal with this difficult situation.
My father dreamed of my brother going to university. He keeps telling his colleagues that his daughter will become a Normalienne and become the youngest judge. When we were kids, my mother’s biggest fear was that one of us was dyslexic. Johanna had to study for her parents in the tradition of excellence and frankly, she was unhappy about it.
We weren’t allowed to go to parties, have boyfriends, watch TV, to end up being like all teenagers our age. School was a priority. I had to give up dancing because it required too much personal effort, which threatened to affect my academic performance.
Today, it testifies to the fact that it emphasizes the importance of one’s own decision-making. From an early age, my parents raised us, my brothers, my sisters and I, in the tradition of excellence. Throughout our lives, they shaped us and prepared us for a prestigious career.
My parents make me study experiences
After an exhaustive discussion with friends whose advice seems far-fetched, I turn to the vast internet in hopes of finding better advice and opinions.
My average values will allow me to go directly to a science preparatory class in France from next year or to integrate engineering schools after the Abitur. That’s what I want to do, study science to become an engineer. I’m in high school. I am good at maths, physics and biology.
In addition, studying medicine means more than 10 almost empty years, no cultural mix, no animation worthy of European universities, almost no foreign students, non-existent integration evenings, strict conservatism, grumpiness. This perspective makes me sad, I don’t want to spend the next years like this. In many student blogs can also be read from it.
Forced to study medicine: parents’ elitist ideas
Only here it seems to me that my parents have changed their minds and are encouraging me to study medicine. The average for admission to the competition and the competition itself is almost in the bag, but I don’t want to do medicine. It was never a profession, I just don’t like this subject, it doesn’t mean anything to me , I open an encyclopedia or a medical website, I feel nothing.
My parents’ logic is simple Doctors are all comfortable, you become a doctor, you also feel comfortable. Especially here, where doctors working in the private sector are especially rich, for them the doctor is a model of social and professional success. The question of profession does not exist for her, even though my father is a professor at the Faculty of Philology! and they will not hesitate to force me into the longest study in the world even against my will.
Dialogue is almost impossible In front of my mother, who herself missed this competition when she was younger, because of a father who was still wrong about women’s access to education, and my authoritarian father, I feel trapped between two walls that are getting dangerously close and it will end breaking all my dreams Side ideas for studentsto be independent.
My parents make me study: how to deal with it?
My parents’ word is clear If you pass the medical exam and the best engineering school in France, you will study medicine. So I have the final stage of engineering school admissions coming up in mid-July, and when I have what I want, I’ll rush my medical exams or answer completely wrong when I know it’s wrong. Should I do something like this knowing that I might regret it later in the face of my parents’ possible collapse?
I like math, I like physics, these subjects fascinate me, I want to study these things high level mathematics, quantum mechanics, etc. A big engineering school in France has 2 first years of excellent quality common core and 3 last years of specialization with exchange stays in Asia, traveling in the USA.
Seeing the world, new faces, new cultures and ways of thinking, student life with a campus, dormitory or boarding house, a Chinese friend, a second Argentinian, a second American, Swedish, Japanese, it is this cultural mix that I want to live with a degree from one of the best engineering schools in Europe
What to do when parents interfere in life
Some parents may feel excluded from this part of their child’s life. How about trying to talk to them about their own youth and their relationship with their parents or grandparents? You would surely be pleased and moved that you are interested in this part of her life, what do you think?
In order to negotiate better, you can first try to understand why they react so badly. Your parents want to be in control. You want to know everything. You want to be a part of your life. But now you want to experience other things without her. You’d rather spend the funnest moments with your friends than with your family. And that’s normal! You are actually opening yourself up to the world and looking outside your family to new ways of being and thinking.
Disarms are sometimes clumsy and will ban a trip, activity, idea without explaining their reasons to you. But are they always wrong? When they have had unpleasant experiences, parents want to prevent their children from going through the same thing. If their concerns seem unfounded, perhaps you can explain to them how you are aware of the risks and how you would respond if problems or dangers arose.
Parents Rule My Life: How Do You Get Out of the Hot Tub?
As a teenager, you may feel misunderstood. As we grow up, emotions become more complex and we are flooded with sometimes conflicting feelings. For example, wanting to grow up faster to have more freedom and at the same time wanting to remain a child to avoid the responsibilities of the adult world.
These conflicting feelings, when mixed with emerging adolescent impulses of desire, longing, can create an explosive cocktail. And if we also ask existential questions, why do I live? What is this about? sometimes it is difficult for them to talk calmly with their parents. It’s not easy to successfully disagree, say it, respect each other and talk to each other without shouting your anger
And then sometimes they want to protect you too. Protect yourself a lot and above all. They’ve been doing it since you were born. They are here, they are there for you, even if your stomach hurts or you are afraid of the dark. So if you are no longer afraid of the dark, but instead want to face it by going out at night, parents are a little confused. They no longer know whether to let you discover the world for you, or whether they still have to protect you from their violence and injustice.
When discussion becomes too difficult, sharing an activity together—a walk, a board game, a trip, etc.—sometimes allows us to realize that we are not always forced to defend existence.
Elite training and major depression
Fulfilling your parents’ dream instead of your own. After an equally painful second year, I took my life back by applying to an English university. I was accepted to one of the best schools in the country, a dream come true! I finally got out of the dead end.
It was the beginning of the end for me. I wanted to be an interpreter and only dreamed of studying abroad and returning to the English-speaking system where I lived for several years. Instead, I had no choice and entered a prep class, “elitist” and excellent education to please my parents.
Those years were very difficult for me. Academically my performance was fair, I placed well – but I was extremely unlucky. My freshman year, I missed a month of classes due to eating disorders and acute anxiety attacks. Despite my condition, my parents forced me to do a second year under the penalty that I would no longer finance my studies.
I’m just finishing my third year, but I’m still not fulfilling I’m fulfilling my parents’ dream, not mine. But when the announcement of underqualification for the competition was announced, the parents were categorical. It was the third year, win the competition or nothing. After months of resistance, I finally gave up. I’m fulfilling my parents’ dream, not mine.
Further reading