Freundschaften unter Kindern

Friendships between children: how important are they?

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Friendship is important and meaningful at any age. Especially in childhood and adolescence, childhood friendships are also an important part of development. But what exactly are friendships between children? How does the concept of friendship evolve over time? And why are friendships important?

The concept of friendship

When it comes to friendship between children, the first thing to consider is what is meant by the term friendship. What exactly do friendships look like, what requirements do friends have to meet, how long do friendships last and what do they lead to, changes with age.

Children usually make their first friendships at the age of approx. 3 years, i.e. kindergarten age. At this point, friendships between children are still relative arbitrarily. For them, a friend is someone who plays with them, who gives them candy or works with them to make their wishes come true. A friend should first of all species to be with the child and be nice to them play be able. Children at this age usually make friends quickly, but often discard them just as quickly. However, once children find someone they can play with especially well, long-lasting friendships can form between children even at this age.

in elementary school age friendship between children is often characterized by the selfish motivation of children who satisfaction of needs serves. For example, a friend to them is someone who plays with them, and that’s what they want to play with. In addition, friends should support them and stand by them in disputes with others and other problems.

and support in problem situations becomes more and more important with age in friendships between children, incl reciprocity like reciprocity increases with age. With approx 10 years Friendships are more about mutual support, instead of primarily expecting support for yourself from a friend or expecting something directly in return for “performance” (only borrow toys when you directly receive a toy belonging to the other person). and solidarity It gets higher priority among friends, just as it becomes more important than friends trustworthy they are and they keep secrets to themselves.

of adolescence then he moves too character a friend in the center. Here the importance reciprocity further enhanced as well as more intimate feelings and thoughts spoken words that a friend should keep to himself. Next to credibility I will too honesty also more important reliability and sensitivity.

The benefits of friendship between children

But why are friendships between children so important? Friendships are important for children development space, which allows them to expand their own self-centered view and compromise with others. into friendship Boundaries, willingness to compromise, ability to solve problems, independence and dealing with feelings proven, but also realistic and positive self-image and self-esteem developed a cognitive, social-emotional and moral development Advanced. Friendship can too support and guidance Offer. Thus, friendship significantly drives the development of children and helps them become independent people who can interact with other people.

friendship support

There are several ways to encourage friendships between children. First of all, the starting position of the child is decisive for how he can approach and engage with other children. So can children with one safe bond they usually find it easier to approach others because they have the necessary confidence to relate to others through the bond with their attachment figure. Insecurely attached children, on the other hand, generally have less trust in relationships with other people, which is why it is usually harder for them to make friends. This applies not only to the bond with the parents, but also to the relationship with the kindergarten teachers. Therefore one successful Modification of the nursery school also important.

If a child in kindergarten finds it particularly difficult to make friends and would like to have more contact with their peers, they can pedagogues support help. For example, they can take a child support and praise them and encourage them for positive behavior. They can also act as positive role models by taking children seriously and supporting them. Exchange with colleagues individual approaches and support options discuss and coordinate with individual children.

Also parents can take on such a supportive role if the child shows particular difficulties in establishing contact. So you can also bring your child to it supportget closer to other children or playing dates with other parents and their child to promote contact. However, they should not pursue the goal of allowing only selected children to be friends for their child.

He finds the child and A friend who may not fit in with their parents’ ideasyou should anyway accept and to get to know the child and possibly his parents better in order to break down prejudices. Play dates can help here, as can a prospective takeover makes sense to parents. What does my child like about the other child? Is he particularly creative when playing, or does it allow my child to discover a lot of new things? Such questions can help parents better understand and accept their child’s choice of friends.

The same goes for scanty between friends. Here you can adult Also supportive stand aside but not resolve the conflict for the children or act in a purely biased manner. In particular, parents think that devaluing the other child and general friendship is a comfort to their own child. However, this is rather counterproductive. Therefore, the reason for the dispute should be investigated together and a solution should be sought together. A clarifying conversation with both children can also be useful here.


Friendship between children is important to them development and in very different areas. What exactly friendship means changes with the age of children and youth. How long a friendship lasts also changes. It is especially difficult for children to make friends supporting adults help. However, you should not interfere too much and accept even friends who initially do not correspond to your “ideal image”. However, they can also support adults in case of disputes without being partisan or biased be.

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