Verwöhne ich mein Kind zu viel?

Am I Spoiling My Baby Too Much?: Signs, Consequences, and More

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At least since the term helicopter parents has been around for a while now, many parents have become confused and may ask themselves: Am I spoiling my child too much? Other parents do not understand what is wrong with spoiling their children. What is pampering? What is indulgent behavior? What are the consequences?

What exactly is pampering?

Before the question “Am I spoiling my child too much?” ” can be answered, it is necessary to clarify what exactly pampering is. If you ask parents about the topic of pampering and what they mean by it, there are often different and vastly different opinions. It reflects that ambiguity term again in broad masses. This can be indulgent behavior different aspects accept and express differently.

In general, the pampering behavior of parents towards their children is like this Children’s independence and personal responsibility are hindered or even completely impossible. This will be precedes challenges children arise, which they have to solve themselves and in which they participate grow or may develop appropriately. This handicap can be manifested in the behavior of the parents, which alis too” can be classified or as “too little”. In this way, children’s positive behaviors, such as taking on tasks independently, are not reinforced, while negative behaviors, such as constantly asserting their own will, are reinforced by not being restrained.

Some examples for indulgent behavior to be considered problematic:

  • Immediate fulfillment of all wishes/needs (e.g. related to food, material goods, leisure activities, drinking, etc.)
  • limitlessness related to material things, but also activities or ways (e.g. constant gifts, media use, unlimited outdoor time, etc.)
  • Accepting tasks that children could/should do on their own (e.g. cleaning for the child, dressing the child (even if they can do it themselves) etc.)
  • Don’t let conflicts resolve themselvesbut solve them for the child
  • Common exceptions according to established rules
  • Often take over the responsibilities of an age-appropriate childwhich were agreed in advance
  • At every slightest sign of discomfort/stress (e.g. at school) the child protect/overprotect

It belongs to this constant pampering, which must be evaluated negatively Distinguish between behaviors that are situational or that aim to create special and beautiful moments. Therefore, it cannot be directly considered negative if some exceptions are made from the established rules, duties, etc. on special days or holidays. Even if the child is really sick, nothing can be objected to it, but it is beneficial. Special moments with family, such as a short vacation, a nice dinner, or a special contribution related to the day or situation should also be considered beneficial. However, find all these things in a certain context ongoing and related to it. I.e, when that situation/context passes and everyday life returns, it also returns to the old rules and structures will and behavior will not become the norm.

Negative consequences of indulgent behavior

The question “Am I spoiling my child too much? ” already includes assumptions that excessive pampering could have a negative effect on the child. It is indeed so. By constantly limiting tasks, responsibilities, or conflict situations, as well as by constantly fulfilling wants and needs and giving away excess gifts, children become they are hindered in their development and cannot grow into independent and self-confident people. Because becoming this and also building social skills are challenges necessary to the child control independently and where it subsequently grows. If these tasks are continuously taken over by the parents, children do not develop and vice versa to enter one growing addiction Parents. There will be children more difficultthey expect more and more from their parents as well as other people in their lives and also become less and less independent.

The mechanism of action behind this development is quite simple. If parents take over every task or let every behavior of the child “run away” or serve every need, it means in any case that the challenge for the child does not occur and therefore also no new experiences they can collect, which boosts self-confidence and builds competence. This causes them they can’t handle things by themselveswhat ka dependence towards other people and especially towards parents, which ultimately leads to claim which guides children who build toward others.

In addition to independence and independence, other skills and things in the child’s development are also blocked. So can children no stamina and strength develop, just like them initiative often missing, as well as one determination. Addition, curiosity and interestas Willingness to deal with things or people, be limited. This, in conjunction with inexperience of one’s own limits, can lead to children at a later age no independently “created” achievement can experience or achieve. and satisfaction she can suffer from it, just like him own value and confidence. Social skills can’t even be built. These factors can then manifest in other deficits, such as more frequent obesity due to lethargy or increased fear of unknown situations.


Parents ask themselves, “Am I spoiling my child too much? ”, therefore you should pay attention to this idea and you think about your behavior. Because constant pampering has a negative effect on a child’s development, which is what it is he is not an independent and self-confident person it can grow up and, on the contrary, becomes dependent and develops an ever higher level of demands. signindulgent behaviors that can result in these negative consequences are constant and prompt satisfaction of wants/needs, unlimited gifts/leisure activities, reduction of relevant responsibilities/obligations, reduction of conflict, inconsistency in actions/constant indulgence, excessive protection against minor symptoms of illness . Don’t fall for this condescending behavior exceptionswhich are made for special occasions, in case of illness or vacation. But the exceptions also mean that there is a normality that looks different. It becomes pampering steady stateparents should pay attention and think about their own behavior and get to the bottom of the reason for their behavior.

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